Thursday, May 15, 2014

Blue 4 Ben

            Mindy Sauer and her husband, Andy, buried their five-year-old son this week.  I cannot imagine the heartbreak felt by the entire family when Ben Sauer’s three and a half month battle with brain cancer ended on Tuesday night.  As his twin brother, Jack, and younger sister, Megan, played with worms in their backyard, Ben was engaged in an entirely different experience.  One that the entire family met with the most incredible strength, even in the face of so much pain…
            I have never met Ben or the rest of his family, but along with thousands of others, both from our community and from around the world, I have followed the challenging journey Ben and the rest of his family have travelled since Ben’s unexpected diagnosis this past January.  These past few months have seen the Sauer family on a path that no one wants and no one asks for, but Mindy’s blog has continuously portrayed her family’s challenges with never ending faith and poignant honesty.  In some moments, she questioned why her five year old had to be in the .00002% of people diagnosed with this type of cancer that was tagged with a 3% survival rate and in others, she made immense sacrifices to maintain a sense of normalcy for her entire family as her little boy underwent his transition from life into death. 
            As recently as last Christmas, Ben was healthy and happy.  His parents did not yet know the definition of “Glioblastoma” and no one could begin to imagine what would occur in the months to come.  In the final three months of his five short years, Ben Sauer made a profound impact on our greater Buffalo community and the nation as a whole, as readers cried along with his mother, as she mourned the boy she and Andy saw themselves slowly losing, while struggling to gauge her other children’s emotions and simultaneously preparing for the birth of her fourth child.  Throughout these impossible few months, Ben, Jack and Megan’s mom and dad sometimes resembled superheroes, as they faced what no parent should ever have to.  But they are not alone.  So many people reached out to them during their struggles, many who had had similar experiences and shared the same emotions they were feeling, as well as thousands of others who had never personally experienced anything like it, but stood strong for the Sauer family anyway. 
Now there is no blue Sauer twin to match the green one (the boys were often dressed in different colors so that people could tell them apart).  The little boy who was such an integral part of Mindy, Andy, Jack and Megan’s lives, is finished with his own earthly one, no longer in pain, a beautiful memory caught in his parents’ devastated tears.  But Ben Sauer’s short life is not defined by the tragedy that ended it too soon, but by all the opportunities and lessons he was given by his loving parents and that he took advantage of during the five years he spent on earth.  Ben Sauer will forever be remembered by his family as the boy who “worked in the backyard instead of played”, the boy who played the game with his brother where they “bumped their heads together” and the tough little boy who never complained. 
My heart, like the hearts of so many aches that Mindy and Andy couldn’t save Ben.  Even the best doctors at the best comprehensive cancer research hospital in our area couldn’t.  Sometimes there are things that are stronger than us, out of our power.  And as much as we would like to deny it, tragedies happen. 
It has been just over a year since eight-year-old Martin Richard was killed before this nation’s very eyes in a terrorist attack that brought our entire nation to tears.  His family’s immense strength in the wake of an event that injured his sister and parents and left his older brother with PTSD, is incredible. 
We’re also approaching the one-year anniversary of the death of Zach Sobiech, a Minnesota teenager who lost his battle with osteosarcoma last May, but not before touching people all over the globe with his music.  
In addition, Buffalo just said goodbye to another young native.  24-year-old University of Richmond basketball staffer and Nardin Academy alum, Natalie Lewis, was killed when a hot air balloon crashed in Virginia on Friday night.  Death may be a common fact of life, but it’s one none of us are equipped to deal with when it hits our loved ones, even when we might think we are. 
So today, I, along with the rest of the world, cry “sad tears and happy tears” for Ben and the rest of his family, and for so many others who have lost a loved one recently.  As Mindy told her other young son, sad tears for the boy who will be dearly missed and happy tears for the boy who is under God’s loving care now.  The amount of sorrow we all feel for all these families cannot be expressed in words, but may they know that the community is rooting for them, and that we all watch in awe at their never ending strength, in the face of so much. 
For them all, we pray. 

*To read more about the Ben and his family’s journey, find Mindy’s blog here: bensauer.blogspot.com. 

            That’s all for today,

            Sarah

Summer Vacation

Disclaimer: This post contains almost nothing that has to do with running…
Claimer: You should still read it… (Or at least I think you should… Haha.)
            Last semester was a long one, to say the least.  I formed some of my best friendships yet, continued to challenge myself mentally, morally and physically, made memories to last a lifetime with my family and friends, had some of the best experiences of my life as well as some of the worst, and finally, after a long, cold winter and a spring with temperatures of questionable warmth, finally reached this phenomena called summer vacation which I was starting to doubt the existence of…
After my last class last week and after my friends and I spent one last night together, ending the year on a high note by visiting a neighboring school to enjoy some of the therapy dogs that had been brought in for their finals week and making a few more final memories, I cracked down on packing, disassembling all my furniture, and putting everything into storage at my friend’s apartment.  And then it was time to head to the airport, to not go home as usual, but to head to the Philippines!  I was given the opportunity to come spend just shy of a month in Manila this summer, to visit my friend’s extended family with her. 
It was a solid two days before we landed in Manila.  We spent about 20 hours in the air and had a quick layover in Dubai, where we met up with some family friends I hadn’t seen in a while, and they gave us a quick tour.  We made a detour to the beach where we shot some quick photos of the Burj al Arab (the sail shaped hotel).  We also drove by the Burj Khalifa (the tallest building in the world) and finally went out for a traditional meal in an extremely unique Arab-style restaurant.  Hummus.  Yum.  My favorite!
Then it was back to the airport and off to the Philippines!  I’m still working on adapting to the time zone, but I think I’m about there.  Meanwhile, I’ve consumed one dessert after another, from brownies for breakfast to Sans Rival, Halo Halo, Krispe Kreme donuts, cronuts, crepes, fruit tarts, dilly bars, ice cream sandwiches, etcetera… It is highly unlikely that I will starve to death here.  (I’ve also eaten plenty of normal food…  Ever had Century Egg?  You should check out a Chinese restaurant and try it sometime…).
In the past few days, I have shopped more than I ever thought possible (four malls in five days and we’re not even close to being done yet).  From the high end malls to the changue, where you barter prices until you drop, and back again, to Eastwood where we shamelessly demolished “King Kong’s Revenge”, six scoops of ice cream (chocolate, ube, coffee, etc.) with pineapple slices and bananas, topped with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, nuts and chocolate chips… (Don’t worry!  I shared it!)… I’ve been to at least 3 bookstores, and today I picked up Freakonomics, which I’m looking forward to reading.  And clothes!  Lots and lots and lots of clothes!  
In addition, we went swimming the other day.  It’s crazy hot here, so even the water feels hot and it’s all about taking breaks every few laps, but it was still a good time.  Yesterday, despite the heat, I decided to actually work out (it was early in the morning and I was still grappling with jet lag… Thus I was wide awake), so I rode the indoor bike and did some lunges and squats after (still six weeks out from my first run = rehab at its best!).  Today we saw Spiderman 2 in 4D.  It’s kind of like Disney World with the theater where the chairs move, which is pretty sweet, if I may say so.  (The movie wasn’t bad either). 
Overall, it’s exactly the kind of trip that I needed.  I tend to be pretty high speed, but with my injury and coming off a long term and an overall tough year, I’m down for the opportunities to rest a lot, eat even more than I already do, and ultimately, be exposed to tons of knowledge and new experiences.  And hey, I’m working on learning Tagalog too.  (Or maybe just a little bit of Taglish). 
Salamat for reading! 

That’s all I’ve got for now, but expect more to come!
            -Sarah

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The End of the School Year

Every year when school's about to close for the summer, I literally get so sad, even though I love summer as much (if not more) than anyone.  It's funny though.  I get to the end of winter, and I'm sad because there's no skiing, no snow days, no snowmen lining the yards of the neighbors.  I get to the end of summer, and it's back to school, back to long nights and long classes, but I get to see my friends.  I get to the end of fall, and its bittersweet because the snow comes down and we all freeze, but I get to ski and Christmas comes around… Life is bittersweet.  Every up is going to be followed and preceded by a down.  Some are worse or better than others.  We all fail.  We all fall.  Yeah, I know I say that a lot.  But, at the same time, we all have our moments, our little (or massive) victories.  And we can all sit and bask in the glory of those.  Of the little things.  The snacks we have with our friends.  The conversations that bring smiles to our face.  The runs that leave you feeling absolutely defeated, but oh, so accomplished.

Every day is going to be a challenge, even if you've been waiting on it your entire life.  Don't expect it not to be.  There's no such thing as perfection, because if there was perfection, nothing would be worth living out at all.  But, we can get pretty darn close.

I've been telling myself for the last day, and in reality, the last several months, that I have grown up so much in the last few years.  I came out of my shy, timid phase.  I grew up when I thought I might forever be a child.  I set goals and achieved them--- most of the time.  I made friendships and I backed my friends up, and sometimes I wasn't there when I should have been.  But, like I've said a thousand times, we all try and we've all failed and fallen.  We've all fought and been knocked down, but it doesn't matter, because someday there will be a moment where you'll open your eyes and look around and all will be worth it.  Every moment where you doubted yourself, every relationship that didn't work out, every attempt at a task that you didn't follow through with, will be worth it.

This summer is going to be amazing.  I will travel and see and do things I never thought I would.  I will work and slowly teach my leg muscles how to work together again, on a run, on a bike.  I will make memories with family and friends.  I would not trade any moment in my life for anything.  Not the failures.  Not the moments I'm not proud of.  Not the challenges and definitely not the blessings.

So for today, I blast music in my ears as I go over a final paper and get ready to beast out finals week.  It hasn't been an easy road, but it isn't for anybody.  We've all struggled.  We've all lost people we love.  I know there are people I wish could be here today and throughout the next few years to watch me become a Marine Officer.  I know I'm not the only one.  We've all disappointed ourselves and others, and watched our dreams seem to disappear a little, hanging out just at the edge of our fingertips, but in the end, those things molded us into who we are today… Those people pushed us to discover who we wanted to be and what dreams we were going to chase.

So now, I'm going to go over my final history paper, crank out some Navigation assignments (theoretically the last time I'll be doing ocean navigation… Land Nav here we come!), and get ready for a strong last week before I go on an epic trip.

Semper Fidelis!
Thanks for reading,
Sarah

United States Marine Corps

I'm not going to lie.  It has been quite a semester.  It's been a hard term, especially with the injury sidelining me for so long.  Missing the bike racing season was a downer, as was not competing at regionals and nationals for skiing.  There were times where I didn't believe I'd ever see a day where I wasn't on crutches and there were times where I never thought the term would end.  But, yesterday, the semester hit a climax when I found out I got a ROTC slot to ultimately become an officer in the United States Marine Corps.  I've been waiting to find out all year, and it's a crazy feeling now that I have.  I could not be more thrilled, even though I am definitely aware that I have a long road in front of me.

This year has taught me more than ever that challenges are only around to make you stronger.  I've taken some of the hardest classes, had the most work, been off my feet longer than I ever thought was even possible...  I've hit my limits.  I've watched myself fall.  I've pushed past those limits and kept pushing through.  I've watched my friends fall too, but in the end, we all got back up again.  Because no matter what, there was hope at the end of the tunnel.  There were things to look forward to, because in the end, no matter what happens, we all have lives to live, we all have dreams to achieve, and we all have a ridiculous amount to learn.

When I was on crutches, all I wanted was to be able to walk from the kitchen to the dining room.  I can do that now.  When I was in the walking boot, all I wanted was the all clear to take it off long enough to walk onto campus.  I can do that now.  There are definitely still things I can't do.  Running is still a little while out.  But, in these last few months, as much as I've discovered that I'm not invincible, I also know it's not over.  It could be so much worse than a stress fracture.  I've met Marines who have been wounded overseas and they were so dedicated to surpassing any setbacks they might meet, and continued to do what they loved no matter how much they had to adapt or push through to do so, whether it was running marathons, racing bikes, doing triathlons, etcetera…

I could not be more honored to be given this opportunity, and I swear I will fight as hard as I can to make sure to push through and pull this off.  Thank you to everybody who has given me so much support over the last few years.  Semper Fi!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Relay For Life

This weekend was my school's American Cancer Society Relay For Life.  Don’t let the name deceive you.  It’s not an insane endurance event (in fact there was tons of candy, pizza, cupcakes, etcetera.  I even won a raffle basket with marshmallow peeps and godiva chocolate).  But, it was definitely still worth being at.  I’d be talking to one friend, and then I’d look around and see someone else I knew.  There were very few times throughout the night where I had no one to hang out with or talk to.  Whether it was kids in ROTC, kids on the ski team or friends from class, there was always someone around.  Furthermore, there were cool events going on all night, whether it was Mr. Relay, a date auction, henna tattoos or a psychic, there was always something to keep you busy. 
And even though I’m in this weird transition stage of wearing the walking boot less and less, and learning to walk again, and someone I knew came up to me and said jokingly, “I feel like this event is anti-you.  Because it involves walking and you’re not supposed to be doing that.”, and to be fair, I did opt out of the bouncy house even though I wanted to, I enjoyed every minute of it. 
I’m an athlete, and most days listening to long speeches or lectures is a struggle to focus, since I really just want to go for a long run most of the time, but I was one hundred percent still and focused as students from our school shared their stories last night.  From the survivor who just finished Chemotherapy after being on the medication for 9 years to the boy who’s childhood best friend lost his 5-year long battle with cancer last year to the kid who said, “I’m here today because for the first 17 years of my life, cancer didn’t affect me”, but it stole his father away within three months, just a week before his high school graduation, everyone has a story.  Some have had it harder than others. 
But, last night, everyone came together to honor those we have buried, as well as those who have survived, and to fight for a better future, where adults like my parents, aunts and grandparents, teenagers like Zach Sobiech (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjKgV65fpo) and young children like Ben Sauer (http://bensauer.blogspot.com) don’t have to face this beast.  And there’s something beautiful about a community like that. 
That’s all I’ve got for now.  In fact I have to go write a history paper… But stay strong, and keep running,
Sarah

Friday, April 4, 2014

A Snippit on Training for a Marathon

So, recently I had a couple fellow midshipman ask me how exactly I trained for the marathon.  As we get closer to the event and I remember exactly how I did it, I'll add more, but for the time being, here are a few tips to get started (also, refer to my other posts).

1. For me, one of the most important part of the training runs was learning how my body would respond...
That means, what can you eat before?  What can you eat during?  How much do you need to drink?  Will you need to stop for any reason during the run?  Or walk?  How can you make sure you don't?  A lot of this is trial and error and you'll figure it out pretty quick.  Some people can't eat anything at all.  I generally won't either, unless it's a few hours before, and then, I'm ridiculously meticulous about what I put into my body.  And I've never actually had any problems there.  But, for me, the kicker is heat.  Heat = death.  I legitimately can't think of a run that I walked for a reason other than heat.  As a result of the heat, I got up earlier or ran later in the day.  I opted not to run summer marathons in hot states, and crossed my fingers that the weather Gods would be in my favor the day of the event.

2. Get your post run routine down pat.  
This might change by season too.  And there's always room for adjustment.  But, do what feels right and don't overdo it.  Stretch, hydrate, eat, whatever works.  I usually sit down on my porch for a second in good temperatures to catch my breath when I finish, and then I head indoors.  In the summer, I go straight for one glass of gatorade and one glass of water, or a popsicle and water.  I have a friend who can literally down a glass of Coke, a glass of Grape Juice and water before I have time to pour my own.  I take time to nurse it, and then I start stuffing my face with whatever's in sight, whether it be cinnamon buns, walnuts, bread and cheese, whatever… And then I shower… In the winter, I generally hit the shower first thing before I freeze to death.  But, hey, we're establishing quickly that I'm a wimp about extreme weather conditions.

3. Get your during training-run routine down pat.  
I have a rule.  Less than or equal to 10 miles equals iPod, headphones and no water.  More than or equal to 10 miles equals no iPod and a small water bottle.  I'm weird though, because I despise the waste band water carriers and iPod armbands so I just carry both in my hand, and I like to have a hand free.  It took me a while to get headphones that stay.  If it's a super long run, I might eat some honey stingers or a GU energy gel in the middle, but I usually don't see a reason to use those unless I'm planning on a 15 miler.  But, he, that's just me.

4. Run a half marathon before the full.  Just do it.  You'll thank me later.
Just like you get your training routines all figured out, get your race routine down.  You can do 5ks and 10ks too.  I usually do 1 of each of those every year too, but the half marathon is useful for other reasons.  For one, it's one of your main training distances.  Also it's a half marathon, so you get an idea of how you'll be feeling halfway.  A lot of people forget that you can actually pace just barely slower than your half time, and do fine in a marathon.  One metric to use to gage your full marathon time is to multiply your half time by 2 and add about 7 minutes.  It's not as hard as you think you stay on track with that.  I ran a half early in my training and another a week before (although I'd recommend doing it a few more weeks before), and it gave me the information I needed to decide how to pace the marathon and do well there.

5. OK, now we can start discussing mileage.  
If you're actually still reading right now, hit up the Hal Higdon Training programs.  But, I'm me and I don't see a point in putting on my running shoes for anything less than 5 miles (unless it's 1000 degrees and then I'm more open to the idea), so I tended to do 3 ~5 milers a week (sometimes more like 4.5, and other times close to 6, depending on the day, time, place and route), with a long one on the weekend.  I made sure I was staying ahead of the training plan (I "followed" novice 2), so when the summer ended and I got busy in the fall, I had already maxed out at 20 miles and was OK just doing 10-13 milers every weekend.  Also I did A LOT of cross training.  My mom and I bike a lot, and when I got back in the fall, I was hitting the gym a few times a week, swimming, and riding, as well as running 4 times a week.  You'll be surprised, but even though it takes up a lot of time, training is really fun and the races are even more fun.  When I got back from the marathon and took off from running to focus on other things, I missed it A LOT.  So if you're not already signed up for one, DO IT.

Alright,
That's all I've got for now,
Sarah

The Ins and Out of Being Injured

1. Running is Life.
2. People with the ability to run deny that running is life.
3. These people complain about running.
4. Their complaints will make you miss it more.
5. The inability to run will make you less likely to do other types of workouts due to sheer laziness.
6. You scoff at any exercise that doesn't involve pounding feet on the pavement.
7. You can walk around campus in a walking boot for 6 weeks and some of your old friends/ acquaintances who haven't seen you in a while will still ask what happened to you.
8.  You will be called "Gimpy" and become the object of all your friend's jokes.
9.  They only joke because they love you.
10.  You hope.
11. The world's favorite question will be "When do you get out of the boot/off crutches/ cleared/ etc?"
12. You will be like, "YOU DO REALIZE THERE IS MORE GOING ON IN MY LIFE THAN MY BROKEN LEG, RIGHT?"
13. Well it'll be like that, except you'll be cordial.  You won't yell.  (We hope).
14. And they only ask because they care...
15. Or maybe they just don't know what else to say.
16. Sometimes you walk by people and your boot is clicking on the ground really loudly and they turn to you and say "Jeez" really loud and you're like "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.  STOP JUDGING!"
17. Except you keep walking in the direction you were heading, because you'd beat them in a race any day of the week (even now probably).
18.  At least once a day, one of your friends/acquaintances complains that you're lucky to get out of working out/standing at long intervals/ etcetera.
19. You'd give anything to be them.
20.  You're starting to enjoy the consumption of vegetables.
21. Which makes you really realize that you need to be working out more, to get back to cinnamon bun love.
22. At least once a day, you ask yourself if your leg feels up to hitting the pavement yet.
23.  At least once a day, you remind yourself that doctor's visits really break up your day, so you begrudgingly skip the run…
24. You're still planning your race calendar for a few months out from now.
25.  You swear you're not in denial.
26.  But, you probably are.
27. But the doctor said you'd be clear well before the event, so you swear you're all good.
28.  Your friends shake their heads.
29.  But, as much as you love them, they're not runners.  They will never understand.
30.  When you're on crutches, some people assume you're a fragile little baby who can't do anything but sit in a recliner.
31. STAIRS PEOPLE.  There are times when they are unavoidable!  #crutchtalents101
31. The rest complain that you're too slow.
32. Hey, I'm pretty quick but I'm not an Olympic Level crutch user!
33. You remind yourself every day that you could have it a thousand times worse.
34. ACL Tears and Knee Surgery.
35. Bone Cancers.
36. The verdict that you will never run again.
37. I mean, I could go on forever, but I think you've got the drift.
38.  Every day you promise yourself you will never complain about running again, once you're cleared.
39. And for the record, every day you complain that you can't run.
40.  You receive zero sympathy.
41.  You probably deserve that.
42. For the record, you swear it wasn't running that got you injured in the first place!
43. Just the nordic skiing and the running in combat boots…
44. Every day is a countdown to losing the walking boot.
45. When the boot breaks, it takes you less than five minutes to find a friend willing to donate theirs.
46. The countdown to hitting the roads again began the first day you started experiencing pain.
47. Running IS LIFE.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Nearest Popsicle

            It’s five a.m. and I’m sitting in the wardroom at my ROTC unit.  I’m writing a paper on Tunisia for a history class, but I’m not entirely thrilled by it.  I’m tired, hungry and freezing, wondering where spring is hiding after all this time.  I sometimes joke that being in the wardroom when everyone’s at PT (since I’m injured and can’t go), is the most productive part of my day, because hey, what is there to distract you at 5 in the morning when you’re not connected to the crosstown school’s wifi and there’s no one around?  I plead the fifth because I’m writing a blog post right now (and I just posted two last night). 
            Today I want to talk to you a little about motivation.  And I mean, I’m not trying to bombard you with a pep talk this morning.  “Come on guys!  Get super hua.  Let’s go!”  But, I want to talk a little bit about what possesses human beings to do what they do.  And not in a psychology kind of way.  Just in a “People make choices and some of them seem way out there, until you’ve picked that way out there choice before, and then it’s way easier to pick again.”
            I mean you’d think I’d cry inside about waking up at 4 a.m.  And you’re one hundred percent correct.  Even after all this time, it still requires meticulous planning, far too many alarms, and a little bit of digging deep and giving it my all just to get out of bed and into uniform in the morning on early days.  But, hey, getting out of bed at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning to get in a 20 miler is no picnic either.  But, we do it.  Whether we do it for the cinnamon buns, because we told our friends we would, because then we can justify the long nap we’re gonna take or just blowing off our chores for a little while, or ----, we do it.  There’s something that pushes us to wake up, lace our sneakers up tight, fill up a water bottle, and just go. 
            I do it for me.  For moments where I’ve been running so long, my head is completely blank.  There’s nothing I can worry about.  There’s nothing to be afraid of.  I could have five finals the next day and not care.  I do it for me.  For the friendships I’ve formed, just striking up random conversations on the sixth (or sixteenth) mile of a marathon, because hey, when you’re running for three and a half hours, you’ve got all the time in the world to make friends.  But, literally.  I do it for me.  For the cardio benefits and the fact that I can get on the scale and be like, “It must be broken” because I weigh too little (beautiful, but rare feeling, by the way). 
            But, also, because no matter what’s going on in your life, your lot could always be worse, and if you have the time, muscular and mental capacity to run 20 miles, you could be doing a whole lot worse.  It gives you a chance to unwind, push yourself, succeed, fail, succeed again, die on the side of the bike path and walk home, kick back by the pool with your best friend and devour the cinnamon bun you just carried 5 miles. 
            Life is marked by a series of successes and failures unevenly spaced along the path that is your essence.  Each of those failures taught you something that made the impending success that much more important in the grand scheme of things.  Without failure, you are absolutely nothing.  Without that moment where you’re so thirsty, you turn back, or that realization that heat is not your thing and your new God given quest is to find the nearest popsicle, then there’s no need for motivation, no need for talent, no need to want it with the whole heart, because then you’re basically just capable of running a marathon in your sleep, all day and every day. 
            But, unless you’re at that point in your life where running across the country is not only what you want to do, but what you legitimately have time and money for, you will have runs where you feel like gold, and you will have runs where you feel like a pile of trash.  Hopefully the number of the former will outweigh the latter. 
            So learn to finish.  And next time you want to turn back, think about the logic behind sticking with it.  Think how nice your new splits will look on your stopwatch down the line, if you just give a little more this time. 
That's all I've got for now,

Sarah